My cat has officially crossed the line and is totally dinner. What could bring this animal lover to this point? She peed on my duvet.
Okay, so this is not the first time she's peed outside the litter box...she's officially ruined my futon and if any dirty laundry falls out of the hamper, she pisses on that too. Why do you keep her you ask? Because I blame myself. She typically only does this when I'm gone a lot, and with the exception on peeing on my ex-boyfriend two days before he dumped me (I believe she had a premonition), she never does this when I'm seeing someone. Seriously, if I have a boyfriend she is good and she loves them and she only pees in the litterbox. If I'm single, I'm completely fucked.
The other reason I keep her? Because she is evil and I am afraid of her. She is a manipulating little bitch, and I think she learned it from me when I was married. I mean, I am by no means the type of person I was when I was married, but man I tell yah, she picked up a thing or two during that time. She will pee on something and at first I would sit down and discuss the situation with her calmly. This is relative to what happened with Jacob and I at first. I would flip out about something stupid and he would calmly talk to me about it and remain cool and think that logic would win. Unfortunately no.
When Trinity pees now, I yell at her and tell her she is dinner and she hides from me for hours, as she knows I'm pissed. I will then crawl into bed that night and she comes up to me and nuzzles me and wraps her legs around my arm and koala me, and my heart melts. This is how it got later in my marriage. I remember getting into a huge fight with Jacob and I lost all control of my thoughts and words and screamed, "At least I have a neck!" He stormed off and I knew I'd really pissed him off. When this type of fight would happen, I would hide for a few hours and knowing that I might have really crossed the line, knew I had to kiss ass. I would wait until he was in bed and I'd crawl in with him.
"I looooovvvvveeeee you."
"Fuck off"
"No really. You know I love you right? I'm sorry for being a bitch."
Nothing. So I then wrap my legs around his arm and koala him.
"Goddamnit Heather! I can't feel my arm!"
So anyways, I'm not sure what to do about my cat Trinity. I love her and I think I need to get her to the vet first before I get rid of her. In fact I learned that she has some symptoms of diabetes, which I can't even talk about without having sheer panic in my heart. However, I honestly feel that the peeing is really just her being vindictive about me not being home much, and for me being single. So what do I do?
Has everyone seen Dateline's series on men going after teens on the internet? They have someone pose as a 14-year old guy or girl on the internet and they invite the cyber sex offenders over to their house to have sex. The man knocks on the door and you hear someone go, "Come on in! I'll be right down!" The man then enters the house. Some take off their clothes, some have Cool Whip with them, and one guy even brought his own kids with him! The reporter then walks in and busts the guy in the whole scheme, the man often tries to explain himself and then leaves and the cops arrest him.
It's a completely freaky thing to think there are perverts like that out there and I can't watch this show anymore because it makes me more and more scared of the world. However, this show has given me a new idea. Since I refuse to give Trinity away to a shelter that euthanizes animals that aren't adopted, I have to find her a home. So this is what I'm thinking - I go online and create a My Space profile for Trinity. I don't post a picture, but I say she's blonde and slender and always wet (this fits with the whole peeing thing, remember). I flirt and purr and all that crap and I post that if anyone is interested in a little pussy, to let me know. She IS really tiny you know.
So I get a response and I give out the address of some abadoned home. The cyber perv arrives and knocks on the front door. I am hiding at the top of the stairs.
"Come on in! I'll be right down!" I yell.
The cyber guy walks in with a leash. Pefect, I think. He sits down in the single chair and taps his foot anxiously. The door from another room opens and out trots Trinity.
I throw my voice down the stairs, "I'm a little pussy. Take me home."
The slimeball is touched by this sweet little cat that mews at him. His heart melts and he realizes the error of his ways and vows to change and make a new lease on life. He will be a good man. A man with a cat.
And I can get a new couch that she won't pee on.
