GOING DOWNNNNNN IN FLAMES OF BORING.
June 11. 2006
at 14:20
Posted by Heather Duffin in The Chronicles
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Posted by Heather Duffin in The Chronicles
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View as PDF: This entry | This month | Full blog
In this strange life that I've lived, the one thing that has always been a constant are my dreams. Sometimes they are so terrifying that in waking, I am too scared to go back to sleep for fear that the dream will continue. Other times the dreams are so wonderful that I never want to wake up because they're so beautiful and unique. The one thing they've never been is boring...until last night.
I dreamt that I had some frozen, organic spring rolls with plum sauce in my freezer. I got a big ol' hunkering for spring rolls and plum sauce and decide to heat them up. I open up the package and see that the precious plum sauce expired on June 1st...and it's June 10th! I panic! Anyone who knows me well knows my fear of expiration dates. It's so bad that I usually dump things when they hit their "Sell By" date yet alone their "Use By" date. I'm standing at the microwave holding the tray of frozen spring rolls and expired sauce and am trying to figure out if it's worth eating the sauce and taking a chance. There's no dairy in it, so how bad could it really be? And then....I wake up.
Uhhhhhhh, that's it? THAT is my dream? What the hell is going on with me? My dreams are now boring! This is the last straw! It's time to shake life up a bit if my dreams have even resorted to a doldrum existence. What happened to the crazy dreams of my past? Well, I've found some dream that I journaled. And to keep the dreams of the past alive, and hopefully remind my subconscious of what it SHOULD be doing, I am going to post some of them.
Now let the dreams begin!
I dreamt that I had some frozen, organic spring rolls with plum sauce in my freezer. I got a big ol' hunkering for spring rolls and plum sauce and decide to heat them up. I open up the package and see that the precious plum sauce expired on June 1st...and it's June 10th! I panic! Anyone who knows me well knows my fear of expiration dates. It's so bad that I usually dump things when they hit their "Sell By" date yet alone their "Use By" date. I'm standing at the microwave holding the tray of frozen spring rolls and expired sauce and am trying to figure out if it's worth eating the sauce and taking a chance. There's no dairy in it, so how bad could it really be? And then....I wake up.
Uhhhhhhh, that's it? THAT is my dream? What the hell is going on with me? My dreams are now boring! This is the last straw! It's time to shake life up a bit if my dreams have even resorted to a doldrum existence. What happened to the crazy dreams of my past? Well, I've found some dream that I journaled. And to keep the dreams of the past alive, and hopefully remind my subconscious of what it SHOULD be doing, I am going to post some of them.
Now let the dreams begin!
2/17/02
I was living in Washington again. For some reason I thought I was in Monroe or Carnation or something. There was this long trail that cut through a valley to another town that seemed to be Woodinville. That might make where I was Duvall then. It all seemed so familiar, but I can't recall any place like this there. I remember that many people would trek across this valley on the trial to get to this other town. There were some cute, sparse apartment buildings above part of this trail. I live in one of these apartments with two other girls.
A bunch of my girlfriends and I were hiking along this trail and something happened where we all fell in the river and were struggling to get ashore. I reached out and thought I felt someone's hand. I looked around and no one was that close to me. I started to feel around underwater and felt a head. I grabbed onto it and pulled it above the water. It was one of my friends and she didn't appear to be breathing. The other helped me get her to shore. Then I pulled out a tiny glass container similar to a shot glass, but wider. It was full of tiny colored rocks. I put a tiny straw in in it that punctured through the bottom into her mouth. That was how I gave her CPR. She finally started breathing again and was totally yelling at me saying she wasn't out, and asking why did I do that to her. I told her we saved her life, and she just kept yelling at us all.
2/20/02
I lived in a house with a large ocean pool. A shark got into it and I was really pissed off cuz I wanted to swim and couldn't. I kept trying to shoo off the shark, but it was taunting me. A red seahorse flew out at me. It wasn't real though, but it was. it was the size of my entire hand, but made of rubber, but it was alive. I'm not sure why, but I hated the seahorse. It was mean and rude to me, but I kept carrying it around everywhere with me. Finally one day I snapped.
There was a white trash mess of construction outside the house and for some reason, Malik (my old roomies cat) was tied to a long leash outside which was hooked to the house. Three people walked up to me and handed me the seahorse. He had run off and they said he was wreaking havoc all over the beach. I flipped out and tried to suffocate him. He freaked and his little, rubber eyes started bulging. I freaked and stopped suffocating him and burst out crying. I then picked him up, bit off the top of his rubber head and threw him back in the pool.
9/7/04
There was a large group of us traveling. At one point, I was upset at one of the guys and a bad fight ensued. I threw the remnants of my tea on to his head. He flipped and left with half the group. My half went to decorate while watching a movie that Linda and Serena suggested.
Next thing I know, my half of the group is at the cemetery and we're all dressed in vintage 50's outfits. There is a Japanese couple crying as a small casket is being taken away into a hearse. I don't know why it's not being buried. The hearse starts to drive away and I fly, yes fly, after it. The others start to fly after me.
I make it to he hearse and am inside the back of it now. I beckon the others to keep following the hearse. I open the casket and remove the baby covered by thin gauze. I pull back the gauze and the baby comes to life and is laughing. I am so happy. I cuddle the baby and the others have now caught up and are flying alongside the hearse, smiling and waving at me and the baby. The baby and I wave back and I wake up.
1/18/05
I was working for the grandpa guy from Jurassic Park, but it was this zoo thing and he was trying to make me work the shark exhibit and get in the water with a great white. I did and barely out-swam it. I then told him I was going to hibernate with the polar bears and went into their cave, cuddled in with one and fell asleep.
I awoke a few months later and there was a party going on. The zoo looked like hell...all the plants were dead and the shark was swimming in algae. I rubbed my eyes and started walking around and heard loud music and saw a bunch of people ahead. I found the Jurassic Park guy and asked what was going on. He told me that we'd had bad weather during the winter and all the plant life died out and I needed to clean the shark tank next month. I was kind of out of it from sleeping for months, so I went to the polar bear area and sat on the bridge over their pool and just spaced out.
I heard someone approaching, but didn't look up. The person sat down next to me and I looked over and it was Dave. He was wearing this terribly tacky club boy shirt that was white with this obnoxious giant paisley print on it. He only had the second two buttons, buttoned and he was wearing leather pants. I burst out laughing and couldn't stop. He was all pissed and glared at me and said he just wanted to see how I was doing. I told him I was fine, but tired from my hibernation. I started to look around the zoo and saw all the guys from the bands and their friends, kind of my whole past from a year ago milling around. I asked what was going on, and he said they were playing a show, and I laughed harder that they were playing the zoo. I just sat there and he said nothing
and just kept looking down. I asked why he kept sitting there if he wasn't going to talk to me, and he shrugged and said he just wanted to hang out. I told him that was fine and got up and walked away. I turned around and saw his stupid shirt blowing in the wind around him and he was crying, and then I ran to the shark tank and jumped in and woke up screaming.
3/14/06
I was at some bar, but it was enormous and everyone was dressed all Moulin Rouge, but mixed with current dress as well. I was excited because my friends were coming into town for some big celebration, but I can't remember what. I was waiting on the dirt road in the woods that led into the town I lived in and a traveling circus with giant animals paraded into town. I stood on the side of the road and waved and laughed and ooohed and ahhhhed at the enormous animals in the caravan of circus cages.
I heard a noise behind me and up on a hill was the biggest moose I'd ever seen and I stood there and watched it eat and felt the ground move as it ran away. I went back to town to wait for my friends at the Moulin Rouge looking hotel. One of them was Charlie from LOST, and his name was Charlie too. Then there was a couple and I was so happy to see them. I hadn't seen them in a long time. I knew there were more people coming, so I went back out to the dirt road on the edge of town. All of a sudden I felt so light and invincible and I started running down the field that ran parallel to the road and I felt weightless and could run so fast. Nothing hurt, and I was laughing and smiling and the wind was rushing past me and I almost felt like I was flying as I ran, and then I woke up. I want to dream that every night.
3/16/06
I was going camping with Amy and some of her friends that I don't know. Her dad was going to drive us to the spot. I think we were all our age, but it felt very slumber party-ish. Everyone was annoyed because I kept forgetting things and having to run back into the house (have never seen this house before) to get blankets. I was worried I wouldn't have enough, so I kept getting more and more and more. The van we were riding in was down the street a bit and we were out in the boonies. This was the only house you could see. I was walking down the road loaded down with blankets and came across a dead horse, but it was completely flat and very bloody. I started crying really hard as I walked around it. Brendan was hanging out with everyone and said he was joining us.
We load up the van and take off. We stop at a bar in this tiny town on the way there and I order the Bartenders Special. Everyone is drinking except Brendan. Some big guy at the bar gets really mean and drunk and the bartender has words with him and makes him ride this carousel horse down the street. Everyone goes outside to watch, but I don't feel well and stay inside and lay my head down on a table. I fall asleep.
I wake up and no one is in the bar still. I walk outside and no one's out there either. In fact, I walk down the road of the town and no one is there at all. I'm really, really scared and I call out people's names. Nothing. I go back to the bar and wait and cry. I've never felt so alone and doomed. I wait for what feels like hours and the door bursts open and this blonde family walks in and all start talking to me and are laughing and everything. I have no clue who they are, but they seem to know me. I ask who they are, and they get very quiet. They tell me they're my family, and I call them liars. They look scared and are trying to help me understand, and telling me about my life, but none of it makes sense and the life they tell me is not the life I lived. I cry more because I'm confused and scared and wonder if the life they are telling me, really is my life and I'm just going crazy. The bartender walks out and I ask where my friends are and he points to my family. I ask where the drunk man on the carousel went, and he has no clue what I'm talking about. I'm so scared and I go sit in the corner and cry as my "family" looks on. I scream as hard as I can hoping to wake myself and then I did.
I was living in Washington again. For some reason I thought I was in Monroe or Carnation or something. There was this long trail that cut through a valley to another town that seemed to be Woodinville. That might make where I was Duvall then. It all seemed so familiar, but I can't recall any place like this there. I remember that many people would trek across this valley on the trial to get to this other town. There were some cute, sparse apartment buildings above part of this trail. I live in one of these apartments with two other girls.
A bunch of my girlfriends and I were hiking along this trail and something happened where we all fell in the river and were struggling to get ashore. I reached out and thought I felt someone's hand. I looked around and no one was that close to me. I started to feel around underwater and felt a head. I grabbed onto it and pulled it above the water. It was one of my friends and she didn't appear to be breathing. The other helped me get her to shore. Then I pulled out a tiny glass container similar to a shot glass, but wider. It was full of tiny colored rocks. I put a tiny straw in in it that punctured through the bottom into her mouth. That was how I gave her CPR. She finally started breathing again and was totally yelling at me saying she wasn't out, and asking why did I do that to her. I told her we saved her life, and she just kept yelling at us all.
2/20/02
I lived in a house with a large ocean pool. A shark got into it and I was really pissed off cuz I wanted to swim and couldn't. I kept trying to shoo off the shark, but it was taunting me. A red seahorse flew out at me. It wasn't real though, but it was. it was the size of my entire hand, but made of rubber, but it was alive. I'm not sure why, but I hated the seahorse. It was mean and rude to me, but I kept carrying it around everywhere with me. Finally one day I snapped.
There was a white trash mess of construction outside the house and for some reason, Malik (my old roomies cat) was tied to a long leash outside which was hooked to the house. Three people walked up to me and handed me the seahorse. He had run off and they said he was wreaking havoc all over the beach. I flipped out and tried to suffocate him. He freaked and his little, rubber eyes started bulging. I freaked and stopped suffocating him and burst out crying. I then picked him up, bit off the top of his rubber head and threw him back in the pool.
9/7/04
There was a large group of us traveling. At one point, I was upset at one of the guys and a bad fight ensued. I threw the remnants of my tea on to his head. He flipped and left with half the group. My half went to decorate while watching a movie that Linda and Serena suggested.
Next thing I know, my half of the group is at the cemetery and we're all dressed in vintage 50's outfits. There is a Japanese couple crying as a small casket is being taken away into a hearse. I don't know why it's not being buried. The hearse starts to drive away and I fly, yes fly, after it. The others start to fly after me.
I make it to he hearse and am inside the back of it now. I beckon the others to keep following the hearse. I open the casket and remove the baby covered by thin gauze. I pull back the gauze and the baby comes to life and is laughing. I am so happy. I cuddle the baby and the others have now caught up and are flying alongside the hearse, smiling and waving at me and the baby. The baby and I wave back and I wake up.
1/18/05
I was working for the grandpa guy from Jurassic Park, but it was this zoo thing and he was trying to make me work the shark exhibit and get in the water with a great white. I did and barely out-swam it. I then told him I was going to hibernate with the polar bears and went into their cave, cuddled in with one and fell asleep.
I awoke a few months later and there was a party going on. The zoo looked like hell...all the plants were dead and the shark was swimming in algae. I rubbed my eyes and started walking around and heard loud music and saw a bunch of people ahead. I found the Jurassic Park guy and asked what was going on. He told me that we'd had bad weather during the winter and all the plant life died out and I needed to clean the shark tank next month. I was kind of out of it from sleeping for months, so I went to the polar bear area and sat on the bridge over their pool and just spaced out.
I heard someone approaching, but didn't look up. The person sat down next to me and I looked over and it was Dave. He was wearing this terribly tacky club boy shirt that was white with this obnoxious giant paisley print on it. He only had the second two buttons, buttoned and he was wearing leather pants. I burst out laughing and couldn't stop. He was all pissed and glared at me and said he just wanted to see how I was doing. I told him I was fine, but tired from my hibernation. I started to look around the zoo and saw all the guys from the bands and their friends, kind of my whole past from a year ago milling around. I asked what was going on, and he said they were playing a show, and I laughed harder that they were playing the zoo. I just sat there and he said nothing
and just kept looking down. I asked why he kept sitting there if he wasn't going to talk to me, and he shrugged and said he just wanted to hang out. I told him that was fine and got up and walked away. I turned around and saw his stupid shirt blowing in the wind around him and he was crying, and then I ran to the shark tank and jumped in and woke up screaming.
3/14/06
I was at some bar, but it was enormous and everyone was dressed all Moulin Rouge, but mixed with current dress as well. I was excited because my friends were coming into town for some big celebration, but I can't remember what. I was waiting on the dirt road in the woods that led into the town I lived in and a traveling circus with giant animals paraded into town. I stood on the side of the road and waved and laughed and ooohed and ahhhhed at the enormous animals in the caravan of circus cages.
I heard a noise behind me and up on a hill was the biggest moose I'd ever seen and I stood there and watched it eat and felt the ground move as it ran away. I went back to town to wait for my friends at the Moulin Rouge looking hotel. One of them was Charlie from LOST, and his name was Charlie too. Then there was a couple and I was so happy to see them. I hadn't seen them in a long time. I knew there were more people coming, so I went back out to the dirt road on the edge of town. All of a sudden I felt so light and invincible and I started running down the field that ran parallel to the road and I felt weightless and could run so fast. Nothing hurt, and I was laughing and smiling and the wind was rushing past me and I almost felt like I was flying as I ran, and then I woke up. I want to dream that every night.
3/16/06
I was going camping with Amy and some of her friends that I don't know. Her dad was going to drive us to the spot. I think we were all our age, but it felt very slumber party-ish. Everyone was annoyed because I kept forgetting things and having to run back into the house (have never seen this house before) to get blankets. I was worried I wouldn't have enough, so I kept getting more and more and more. The van we were riding in was down the street a bit and we were out in the boonies. This was the only house you could see. I was walking down the road loaded down with blankets and came across a dead horse, but it was completely flat and very bloody. I started crying really hard as I walked around it. Brendan was hanging out with everyone and said he was joining us.
We load up the van and take off. We stop at a bar in this tiny town on the way there and I order the Bartenders Special. Everyone is drinking except Brendan. Some big guy at the bar gets really mean and drunk and the bartender has words with him and makes him ride this carousel horse down the street. Everyone goes outside to watch, but I don't feel well and stay inside and lay my head down on a table. I fall asleep.
I wake up and no one is in the bar still. I walk outside and no one's out there either. In fact, I walk down the road of the town and no one is there at all. I'm really, really scared and I call out people's names. Nothing. I go back to the bar and wait and cry. I've never felt so alone and doomed. I wait for what feels like hours and the door bursts open and this blonde family walks in and all start talking to me and are laughing and everything. I have no clue who they are, but they seem to know me. I ask who they are, and they get very quiet. They tell me they're my family, and I call them liars. They look scared and are trying to help me understand, and telling me about my life, but none of it makes sense and the life they tell me is not the life I lived. I cry more because I'm confused and scared and wonder if the life they are telling me, really is my life and I'm just going crazy. The bartender walks out and I ask where my friends are and he points to my family. I ask where the drunk man on the carousel went, and he has no clue what I'm talking about. I'm so scared and I go sit in the corner and cry as my "family" looks on. I scream as hard as I can hoping to wake myself and then I did.
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