DEAR DUMBASS
Culprit: Silver Honda CRV
Dear Dumbass Bitch in this Vehicle:
I wanted to thank you for being possibly one the worst drivers I've ever encountered. I'm so grateful to have been stuck behind you from the time I got my coffee, until you exited at Microsoft. I would like to encourage you to take a corner at more than two miles an hour for one. Secondly, I would like to remind you that you CAN take a right on a red light when there is not a car in sight. That is why five cars were viciously honking at you behind me. Really, you ask? Yes sweetie, I know it's a shock and had you not been brushing your hair or touching up your perfect makeup during drivers ed, you may have caught on to that. And also, I know that once you actually turned right when the light turned green some time later, you were apparently scared of the...what barrier? shoulder? divider line? I'm not sure which it was, but there was little need to keep slamming on your breaks. It's just paint on the road and it won't hurt you.
Also, can I suggest you remove the USC Alumni sticker? I wouldn't drive around like that claiming to be college educated, or perhaps you just blew some frat boy there and got confused with the fact that "blowing" there was different than "going" there. I know you've only had your license for what, six years now? You looked about twenty-two, but I would either like to offer to pay for you to go through drivers ed again, or I would gladly buy you a nice special ed helmet so that all of us who know what they're doing can be forewarned that you are on the road. Please let me know which you would prefer and I will expedite the decision promptly!
Thank you for your time and for reminding me to leave the house a little earlier each day to avoid you.
Heather
Dear Dumbass Bitch in this Vehicle:
I wanted to thank you for being possibly one the worst drivers I've ever encountered. I'm so grateful to have been stuck behind you from the time I got my coffee, until you exited at Microsoft. I would like to encourage you to take a corner at more than two miles an hour for one. Secondly, I would like to remind you that you CAN take a right on a red light when there is not a car in sight. That is why five cars were viciously honking at you behind me. Really, you ask? Yes sweetie, I know it's a shock and had you not been brushing your hair or touching up your perfect makeup during drivers ed, you may have caught on to that. And also, I know that once you actually turned right when the light turned green some time later, you were apparently scared of the...what barrier? shoulder? divider line? I'm not sure which it was, but there was little need to keep slamming on your breaks. It's just paint on the road and it won't hurt you.
Also, can I suggest you remove the USC Alumni sticker? I wouldn't drive around like that claiming to be college educated, or perhaps you just blew some frat boy there and got confused with the fact that "blowing" there was different than "going" there. I know you've only had your license for what, six years now? You looked about twenty-two, but I would either like to offer to pay for you to go through drivers ed again, or I would gladly buy you a nice special ed helmet so that all of us who know what they're doing can be forewarned that you are on the road. Please let me know which you would prefer and I will expedite the decision promptly!
Thank you for your time and for reminding me to leave the house a little earlier each day to avoid you.
Heather
