THE HAIRLESS YETI AND THE COCKS
The roosters are back again. I don't know what's going on, but ever since some invisible hen abandoned eggs in the office carport, these two roosters seem to be hanging out there ALL the time. One of our realtors came by yesterday and had the shit scared out of her when she opened her car door to be met by a rooster crowing at her. One of the owners commented that she was ready to go next door and have a talk with the neighbors about keeping their animals in their yard. I think we're getting closer to that moment.
Around 10:00 this morning, I was alone in the office and heard commotion once again. It was SO loud! I knew what it was...those fucking roosters! I stormed out the side door out to the screened-in porch and saw them. The two roosters were squawking at each other going insane. I'd had it! I just wanted to work in peace. I hiked up my jeans that were too big, leading me to nearly moon an old woman at the post office earlier because I'd forgotten a belt. I then raised my arms above my head like a pasty, Anglo-Saxon Yeti attacking and charged down the stairs into the carport, roaring.
"GET OUT! GET OUUUUUUTTTTTT!"
The roosters took off running out of the carport, but I continued to chase them into the front yard, arms still raised.
'SHUT UPPPPPP! GET OUTTTTTTTT!"
And then I realized that the steady traffic driving down the road could see this crazy girl screaming, arms in the air, pants falling off and showing crack, chasing roosters. AND I was doing this in front of my office. I ran back inside before anyone came back or called the cops. For all I know, what I'd just done could qualify as a domestic disturbance in this town.
I'm now starting to snap from the rooster-fest. My mind is thinking of evil ways to scare them away without hurting them. I'm thinking about stopping by KFC and leaving a bucket of chicken out in the carport as a warning.
Around 10:00 this morning, I was alone in the office and heard commotion once again. It was SO loud! I knew what it was...those fucking roosters! I stormed out the side door out to the screened-in porch and saw them. The two roosters were squawking at each other going insane. I'd had it! I just wanted to work in peace. I hiked up my jeans that were too big, leading me to nearly moon an old woman at the post office earlier because I'd forgotten a belt. I then raised my arms above my head like a pasty, Anglo-Saxon Yeti attacking and charged down the stairs into the carport, roaring.
"GET OUT! GET OUUUUUUTTTTTT!"
The roosters took off running out of the carport, but I continued to chase them into the front yard, arms still raised.
'SHUT UPPPPPP! GET OUTTTTTTTT!"
And then I realized that the steady traffic driving down the road could see this crazy girl screaming, arms in the air, pants falling off and showing crack, chasing roosters. AND I was doing this in front of my office. I ran back inside before anyone came back or called the cops. For all I know, what I'd just done could qualify as a domestic disturbance in this town.
I'm now starting to snap from the rooster-fest. My mind is thinking of evil ways to scare them away without hurting them. I'm thinking about stopping by KFC and leaving a bucket of chicken out in the carport as a warning.
WE'RE COIN STARS!
Yeah, survived the day and am expecting another busy day. Went to my sister's after work last night to do laundry and help her with an errand. It was so ridiculous because Fletcher and her have this giant coke bottle piggy bank and Heidi needed more money for her new countertops since her bonus was delayed. So me, her and Kylee headed to Lowes and made a spectacle of ourselves dumping change from the giant coke bottle, which took two of us to lift and then we had to put it in the child's seat of the grocery cart to move it, into a Disney princess bucket, then into the Coin Star. We got to know some of the cashiers and were gawked at, laughed at, and sneered at by other customers. It was SO loud and it took us an hour to finish. Kylee read the nearby magazines (including Truckster, which she announced was for boys) and was so good. I dealt with shoving the change into the Coin Star so Heidi could keep an eye on Kylee as she manhandled the coke bottle. My fingers were BLACK afterwards, it was so disgusting. She ended up getting over $800 from it! I'm totally saving my change.
