MY WISH LIST
I'm just forewarning everyone that I took a Vicodin. We all know I hate painkillers and won't take them except in dire situations, and my back is screwed right now. Anyways, I have no idea where this will go under the influence of it. With that, I start.
As I drove home listening to talk radio today, I listened to one of the hosts saying that her girlfriend just broke up with her fiancé because he wouldn't go "downtown," but expected her to. I completely agree with her decision, but wondered how she got engaged to someone who wouldn't do that? As the calls came in, most people were saying they were willing to sacrifice that to be in a relationship, married, etc. I was appalled! Why would anyone deny themselves that, man or woman? And as I stewed on this I recalled my email conversation with my friend, Isaac yesterday.
It all started with me sending an e-card to some friends that stated, "If prepared just right, I'd make love to a burrito." Isaac laughed and somehow the conversation led to us talking about what "our types" were. He stated that at this point in life, he just wants a sweet girl who is not crazy. He felt that when you have a "type" you close doors. I agreed somewhat, but said "I like dark hair, striking eyes, no moustache (beards are good though), and doesn't do coke or heroin." Then it went back and forth and our "types" turned into wish lists. My list grew, as did my stories of why. The following is my Wish List...
I've dated all types, but I prefer dark hair (absolutely no redheads), striking eyes, and no moustache. I'm kind of a fan of non-ZZ Top beards and stubble, but it can't be a lone moustache. He must have all his teeth or at least give the appearance that he does. Taping paper teeth to his gums doesn't count. Trust me, out here you have to be specific about the teeth.
Of course there are the basic things like honesty, monogamy and loyalty. I'm not into being cheated on or lied to. It's just easier to be honest and not create hurt. No need to delve more into that since it's something we all want and understand.
He will say something when I sneeze. It doesn't have to necessarily be "Bless You". It can be "That tomato ain't ripe." Just say something that isn't mean. He will laugh at stupid things. Anyone who knows me, knows my sense of humor and that I laugh at the simplest things. He will laugh and not be offended by poo humor. I don't talk about it ALL the time, but for some reason I find it extremely amusing and does come up more than the normal person. I know the time and place for it, so he need not be scared I will make some comment about filling up the bowl to his parents the first time I meet them.
He is affectionate and not afraid of PDA. I've dated men who are paranoid about holding hands or kissing in public, and it drives me nuts! I'm not going to be tacky about it, but I think there is nothing wrong with PDA. It warms my heart to see couples that aren't afraid to be themselves that way. He will be passionate in bed, not boring or close-minded. He should also be passionate about something outside of the bed. Most of the men I've been with have been creative in some nature and are passionate about their art, music, whatever it might be. I like that so long as they retain who they are and don't lose themselves or their priorities in it.
He will have friends of his own, but enjoy mine as well. I like someone who has guys' nights and is cool with me going out with the girls. When two people are totally reliant on each other this leads to nothing but trouble. The relationship a person has with their friends speaks volumes and I want someone who cherishes them. To me it's about two lives coming together and creating a parallel path without losing who they are in each other.
He will not be a "yes" man. If he disagrees with me, he will tell me so. I believe in trying to be open to another's feelings and viewpoints, but I don't want someone who'll just agree with me because they think they should. I want to be challenged. I want to be open to new things and enhance my life. I want to be encouraged to try new things.
And this sounds really stupid, but he has to wipe his butt well. Isaac of course took that to be a "tossed salad" reference, but I had to explain, as I do now. My ex-boyfriend would take really quick poops. He was in and out of the bathroom like wildfire when he had to go poo. I told him he couldn't possibly be wiping his butt thoroughly. One time when we were having sex, I grabbed his butt cheeks and my mind freaked out that I needed to be careful where my fingers grabbed because he probably had a dirty butt. So, oh future mate o' mine…wipe your damned ass nice and clean!
Does he exist? I have no clue, but if not, there's always that burrito.
As I drove home listening to talk radio today, I listened to one of the hosts saying that her girlfriend just broke up with her fiancé because he wouldn't go "downtown," but expected her to. I completely agree with her decision, but wondered how she got engaged to someone who wouldn't do that? As the calls came in, most people were saying they were willing to sacrifice that to be in a relationship, married, etc. I was appalled! Why would anyone deny themselves that, man or woman? And as I stewed on this I recalled my email conversation with my friend, Isaac yesterday.
It all started with me sending an e-card to some friends that stated, "If prepared just right, I'd make love to a burrito." Isaac laughed and somehow the conversation led to us talking about what "our types" were. He stated that at this point in life, he just wants a sweet girl who is not crazy. He felt that when you have a "type" you close doors. I agreed somewhat, but said "I like dark hair, striking eyes, no moustache (beards are good though), and doesn't do coke or heroin." Then it went back and forth and our "types" turned into wish lists. My list grew, as did my stories of why. The following is my Wish List...
I've dated all types, but I prefer dark hair (absolutely no redheads), striking eyes, and no moustache. I'm kind of a fan of non-ZZ Top beards and stubble, but it can't be a lone moustache. He must have all his teeth or at least give the appearance that he does. Taping paper teeth to his gums doesn't count. Trust me, out here you have to be specific about the teeth.
Of course there are the basic things like honesty, monogamy and loyalty. I'm not into being cheated on or lied to. It's just easier to be honest and not create hurt. No need to delve more into that since it's something we all want and understand.
He will say something when I sneeze. It doesn't have to necessarily be "Bless You". It can be "That tomato ain't ripe." Just say something that isn't mean. He will laugh at stupid things. Anyone who knows me, knows my sense of humor and that I laugh at the simplest things. He will laugh and not be offended by poo humor. I don't talk about it ALL the time, but for some reason I find it extremely amusing and does come up more than the normal person. I know the time and place for it, so he need not be scared I will make some comment about filling up the bowl to his parents the first time I meet them.
He is affectionate and not afraid of PDA. I've dated men who are paranoid about holding hands or kissing in public, and it drives me nuts! I'm not going to be tacky about it, but I think there is nothing wrong with PDA. It warms my heart to see couples that aren't afraid to be themselves that way. He will be passionate in bed, not boring or close-minded. He should also be passionate about something outside of the bed. Most of the men I've been with have been creative in some nature and are passionate about their art, music, whatever it might be. I like that so long as they retain who they are and don't lose themselves or their priorities in it.
He will have friends of his own, but enjoy mine as well. I like someone who has guys' nights and is cool with me going out with the girls. When two people are totally reliant on each other this leads to nothing but trouble. The relationship a person has with their friends speaks volumes and I want someone who cherishes them. To me it's about two lives coming together and creating a parallel path without losing who they are in each other.
He will not be a "yes" man. If he disagrees with me, he will tell me so. I believe in trying to be open to another's feelings and viewpoints, but I don't want someone who'll just agree with me because they think they should. I want to be challenged. I want to be open to new things and enhance my life. I want to be encouraged to try new things.
And this sounds really stupid, but he has to wipe his butt well. Isaac of course took that to be a "tossed salad" reference, but I had to explain, as I do now. My ex-boyfriend would take really quick poops. He was in and out of the bathroom like wildfire when he had to go poo. I told him he couldn't possibly be wiping his butt thoroughly. One time when we were having sex, I grabbed his butt cheeks and my mind freaked out that I needed to be careful where my fingers grabbed because he probably had a dirty butt. So, oh future mate o' mine…wipe your damned ass nice and clean!
Does he exist? I have no clue, but if not, there's always that burrito.
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
When I was in elementary school, I remember being made to watch a documentary about a woman with no arms who'd taught herself basically how to do everything with her feet that she would have otherwise used her hands for. I was fascinated by this and began practicing writing my name with a pencil between my toes, picking things up with my feet, etc.
I never really had much use for this little talent, but instead used it to entertain friends showing them on rare occasions, how I could light and smoke a cigarette simply using my feet. Oh, and there was of course the time I had breast reduction and couldn't use my arms for a bit. The trained footwork helped out then. Then I woke up old this morning. I have no idea what I did to my back while I slept, but I am in hell and it hurts like a bitch to bend over and pick things up.
My office mate had printed some stuff on my printer and apparently a page fell on the floor. It was obvious it was there, but he just left it there and took off. It was bugging me, but I can't bend over. "Heather, use your feet...." murmured the Obi-Won-like voice in my head. My feet have the force.
And with that, I quickly picked up the paper with my toes and brought myself into half a tree pose to transfer the paper from my feet to my hands. This is awesome! I think tonight I'm going to practice putting on makeup with my feet.
I never really had much use for this little talent, but instead used it to entertain friends showing them on rare occasions, how I could light and smoke a cigarette simply using my feet. Oh, and there was of course the time I had breast reduction and couldn't use my arms for a bit. The trained footwork helped out then. Then I woke up old this morning. I have no idea what I did to my back while I slept, but I am in hell and it hurts like a bitch to bend over and pick things up.
My office mate had printed some stuff on my printer and apparently a page fell on the floor. It was obvious it was there, but he just left it there and took off. It was bugging me, but I can't bend over. "Heather, use your feet...." murmured the Obi-Won-like voice in my head. My feet have the force.
And with that, I quickly picked up the paper with my toes and brought myself into half a tree pose to transfer the paper from my feet to my hands. This is awesome! I think tonight I'm going to practice putting on makeup with my feet.
