THE SIMPLE THINGS
I remember sitting at B&O Espresso in Seattle a couple of years ago with a few of my friends one night. After a game of "Would you rather?" which included scenarios of swimming through fire in Hell or having an arm growing out of your forehead, my friend Chad said, "Okay, so what is your most beautiful moment in life?"
I believe there were four of us gathered around that table that evening. Each person shared their moments, as no one had just one. When it came to my turn I remember that I shared three things, but only remember two of the moments. The first was when I was 21. I helped my old friend Joan move back to Seattle from California with her six-week old daughter. Joan had to pee and so we stopped at a rest area at the base of Mt. Shasta in California. She asked if I'd hold her daughter while she used the bathroom. So I sat on this bench at sunset, holding this six-week old baby. The sky was the most amazing shade of pink. So pink it was almost violent. We were the only people there. The mountain looked like it was on fire with girly-girl-ness. As I held this tiny baby with this enormous mountain looming over us, I felt so small, so quiet. The magnitude of life, nature and ego all collided and I felt free and humbled. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
The second moment may sound petty and I won't go into details, but it was the last time of a first time "I'm in love with you."
The third I cannot remember, so I guess it wasn't THAT beautiful, or maybe it just merged with the many other mini-beautimous moments. However, after last night I have to add to the most beautiful moments ever.
Of course we all know that yesterday was Halloween. It started when Sara-Jane emailed asking what I was going to be for Halloween? I informed her that I was not dressing up for the first time in my entire life. After sending this response I got really sad. This is my favorite holiday for Pete's sake! This is ridiculous! Fuck the pity! Fuck the money! Fuck I wasn't back home doing something fun! I was going trick-or-treating with my sister and niece and I vowed I would dress up! My mind scraped for something I could do with what I had, and then it hit.
I rushed home after work to get ready for trick-or-treating. I put on my ripped-up jeans, t-shirt and fleece. I ratted out my hair and put fake dirt on my face, drew on a black eye, and drew a paw print on my cheek. I headed to my sister's house, where I was told she was going to join me in my costume. My fleece was replaced by her ex-husband's sweatshirt, and we cut up our tops and dripped fake blood all over our cut-up shirts, faces and hands. We then went into the woods and picked branches and leaves for our hair and the tears in our shirts. Kylee agreed to let me borrow one of her bears and my sister, her moose and we strapped them on our shoulders. We were campers attacked by wild animals. We then took Sleeping Beauty and the poodle, Tinkerbell, trick-or-treating. It was one of the most fun times of my life! I went with them last year, but it was so different this time. The girl time with my sister and the excitement and wonder of my 3-year old niece left me grinning ear-to-ear. It reminded me of how happy one can be from such a simple thing as trick-or-treating.
As we approached the last house of the night, Kylee announced "I'm going to go to that house and get my candy, then Ms. Heather is going to carry me home." It was the first time she wanted me to carry her. After she got her candy, she jumped up into my arms and nuzzled in. Life felt full and my uterus ached for one of my own.
"Auntie Heather! You're hurting me!" she moaned.
I set her down and realized the branch sticking out of my shirt was impaling her stomach. I swiftly removed it and scooped her back up. She nuzzled in again and I realized that though I can't wait to get out of this town, life is pretty damned good with those little arms wrapped around your neck.
I believe there were four of us gathered around that table that evening. Each person shared their moments, as no one had just one. When it came to my turn I remember that I shared three things, but only remember two of the moments. The first was when I was 21. I helped my old friend Joan move back to Seattle from California with her six-week old daughter. Joan had to pee and so we stopped at a rest area at the base of Mt. Shasta in California. She asked if I'd hold her daughter while she used the bathroom. So I sat on this bench at sunset, holding this six-week old baby. The sky was the most amazing shade of pink. So pink it was almost violent. We were the only people there. The mountain looked like it was on fire with girly-girl-ness. As I held this tiny baby with this enormous mountain looming over us, I felt so small, so quiet. The magnitude of life, nature and ego all collided and I felt free and humbled. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
The second moment may sound petty and I won't go into details, but it was the last time of a first time "I'm in love with you."
The third I cannot remember, so I guess it wasn't THAT beautiful, or maybe it just merged with the many other mini-beautimous moments. However, after last night I have to add to the most beautiful moments ever.
Of course we all know that yesterday was Halloween. It started when Sara-Jane emailed asking what I was going to be for Halloween? I informed her that I was not dressing up for the first time in my entire life. After sending this response I got really sad. This is my favorite holiday for Pete's sake! This is ridiculous! Fuck the pity! Fuck the money! Fuck I wasn't back home doing something fun! I was going trick-or-treating with my sister and niece and I vowed I would dress up! My mind scraped for something I could do with what I had, and then it hit.
I rushed home after work to get ready for trick-or-treating. I put on my ripped-up jeans, t-shirt and fleece. I ratted out my hair and put fake dirt on my face, drew on a black eye, and drew a paw print on my cheek. I headed to my sister's house, where I was told she was going to join me in my costume. My fleece was replaced by her ex-husband's sweatshirt, and we cut up our tops and dripped fake blood all over our cut-up shirts, faces and hands. We then went into the woods and picked branches and leaves for our hair and the tears in our shirts. Kylee agreed to let me borrow one of her bears and my sister, her moose and we strapped them on our shoulders. We were campers attacked by wild animals. We then took Sleeping Beauty and the poodle, Tinkerbell, trick-or-treating. It was one of the most fun times of my life! I went with them last year, but it was so different this time. The girl time with my sister and the excitement and wonder of my 3-year old niece left me grinning ear-to-ear. It reminded me of how happy one can be from such a simple thing as trick-or-treating.
As we approached the last house of the night, Kylee announced "I'm going to go to that house and get my candy, then Ms. Heather is going to carry me home." It was the first time she wanted me to carry her. After she got her candy, she jumped up into my arms and nuzzled in. Life felt full and my uterus ached for one of my own.
"Auntie Heather! You're hurting me!" she moaned.
I set her down and realized the branch sticking out of my shirt was impaling her stomach. I swiftly removed it and scooped her back up. She nuzzled in again and I realized that though I can't wait to get out of this town, life is pretty damned good with those little arms wrapped around your neck.
