THE PC THAT STOLE CHRISTMAS
My niece had visited Santa last weekend and in true Auntie fashion, had sent out the picture to some friends. Erin responded how her pictures of Santa were always her crying and screaming. This set off an idea in my head. I would go get my picture taken with Santa and pretend to cry or scream. It was beautiful! It was brilliant! I thought of the laughs this would bring. So I called my sister to ask if she would join me. She informed me she was creeped out about sitting on Santa's lap, but could take my niece to be my partner in crime. I asked if she would be scared of me pretending to cry and was told that so long as she was explained it was make believe, it would be okay.
So the plan was set. And now it is ruined. I just hung up with my sister who returned to the mall today. I mentioned my plan to her once again. I was met with silence.
"Uh, you're not allowed to sit on Santa's lap anymore."
"What?"
"Yeah. There was a sign saying that adults were not allowed to sit on Santa's lap due to lawsuits."
I'm FURIOUS! So what's likely happened is that a few women thought it would be fun to sit on Santa's lap wearing short skirts and thigh highs, feel Old Saint Nick's boner and freak out? What do you expect you Christmas Grinches? These are men playing Santa! I don't know if it's the joy of Christmas or the lows of unemployment, but this is likely not they're number once choice of jobs. You're playing with the probability that Santa feels your bony ass on his knee and you're going to feel his candy cane! Deal with it or wear some sweats!
I can't believe it's gotten to this point. My plan is ruined! I can't sit on Santa's lap, and I'm feeling slightly devastated. My crying bit is ruined! And let's not forget my cheesiness of still secretly hoping that Santa is real and doesn't jack off (though it's good for the prostate). I'm speechless.
All of this after learning from my mom's boyfriend that there is a movement to get Santa to bellow, "Hah! Hah! Hah!" instead of "Ho! Ho! Ho!" because it's supposedly derogatory to...as they are saying...African American women. I didn't even know that the term "ho" was regulated only to one race. I always grew up knowing it just flat out meant you were a slut. And even in that, I never once thought that when Santa chuckled his mantra, that it means anyone was a whore. He was just jolly.
I'm sad. I'm sad for the fact that even Christmas has been attacked by PC-ness. I'm sad that I can't sit on Santa's lap and give a faux sob.
Who's the Grinch now?
So the plan was set. And now it is ruined. I just hung up with my sister who returned to the mall today. I mentioned my plan to her once again. I was met with silence.
"Uh, you're not allowed to sit on Santa's lap anymore."
"What?"
"Yeah. There was a sign saying that adults were not allowed to sit on Santa's lap due to lawsuits."
I'm FURIOUS! So what's likely happened is that a few women thought it would be fun to sit on Santa's lap wearing short skirts and thigh highs, feel Old Saint Nick's boner and freak out? What do you expect you Christmas Grinches? These are men playing Santa! I don't know if it's the joy of Christmas or the lows of unemployment, but this is likely not they're number once choice of jobs. You're playing with the probability that Santa feels your bony ass on his knee and you're going to feel his candy cane! Deal with it or wear some sweats!
I can't believe it's gotten to this point. My plan is ruined! I can't sit on Santa's lap, and I'm feeling slightly devastated. My crying bit is ruined! And let's not forget my cheesiness of still secretly hoping that Santa is real and doesn't jack off (though it's good for the prostate). I'm speechless.
All of this after learning from my mom's boyfriend that there is a movement to get Santa to bellow, "Hah! Hah! Hah!" instead of "Ho! Ho! Ho!" because it's supposedly derogatory to...as they are saying...African American women. I didn't even know that the term "ho" was regulated only to one race. I always grew up knowing it just flat out meant you were a slut. And even in that, I never once thought that when Santa chuckled his mantra, that it means anyone was a whore. He was just jolly.
I'm sad. I'm sad for the fact that even Christmas has been attacked by PC-ness. I'm sad that I can't sit on Santa's lap and give a faux sob.
Who's the Grinch now?
DONT' STEAL ME GOLD
I don't know if it's the music playing or the events, but I just have to say that I am having one of those moments where I feel so content and loved. I won't go into it all, but there was drama. BIG drama. And I stuck myself in the middle of it. How I do this from 3,000 miles away I'm not sure, but what started out as one situation turned into another situation. It grew like bunnies on Spanish Fly. I've spent the majority of yesterday on one situation via email and another situation on the phone tonight. And while I cried on one, and passionately stated my stance on another tonight, a certain tingling of fear was injected into my soul. Is this going to change friendships? Will these people understand? I cringed at the thought that it might not go where I anticipated.
And then I woke up this morning and one situation eased itself, only for the next situation to explode like a plume of smoke. And then that plume of smoke was too extinguished. And what came of it all? Love. It's all about the love I realize. Those who know me well know that while I am a very kind, supportive person. On the other hand I am also forthright and will call you on your shit in a matter of seconds. I expect the same of my friends. If I fuck up, I want them to call me on it. And I do so with risk. Will this person understand? Will they see it comes from a place of love and concern? And they do. What starts with fear and a huge batch of courage to admit mine and other's wrongs, ends up with a renewed sense of friendship and a confirmation of absolute love. I feel like I'm still human and I know I mess up, but I see the growth. Oh god do I see the growth.
I don't know how I'm so lucky, but I am. I can't imagine my life without those who are in it, and I feel like the luckiest person in the world at the moment. I love that no matter how much time passes, I'm continually blown away by my relationships and the amount of love and understanding that exists within them.
It's something that draws me back home. I want that all encompassing love around me at all times, yet I also know there are new adventures for me that can bring more of that unconditional love and friendship with it. I was going to go back to it, but have decided to venture forth. Am I crazy? Maybe, but I also have this overwhelming inkling that it's just going to carry into a new place. A new adventure. New lives. And I feel like the richest person in the world. Nobody's gong to steal me gold.
And then I woke up this morning and one situation eased itself, only for the next situation to explode like a plume of smoke. And then that plume of smoke was too extinguished. And what came of it all? Love. It's all about the love I realize. Those who know me well know that while I am a very kind, supportive person. On the other hand I am also forthright and will call you on your shit in a matter of seconds. I expect the same of my friends. If I fuck up, I want them to call me on it. And I do so with risk. Will this person understand? Will they see it comes from a place of love and concern? And they do. What starts with fear and a huge batch of courage to admit mine and other's wrongs, ends up with a renewed sense of friendship and a confirmation of absolute love. I feel like I'm still human and I know I mess up, but I see the growth. Oh god do I see the growth.
I don't know how I'm so lucky, but I am. I can't imagine my life without those who are in it, and I feel like the luckiest person in the world at the moment. I love that no matter how much time passes, I'm continually blown away by my relationships and the amount of love and understanding that exists within them.
It's something that draws me back home. I want that all encompassing love around me at all times, yet I also know there are new adventures for me that can bring more of that unconditional love and friendship with it. I was going to go back to it, but have decided to venture forth. Am I crazy? Maybe, but I also have this overwhelming inkling that it's just going to carry into a new place. A new adventure. New lives. And I feel like the richest person in the world. Nobody's gong to steal me gold.
