CROW NEVER TASTED BETTER
I am a butthole.
Most of the time, I am far from a butthole. I consider myself very kindhearted and sensitive, but I am also blunt and honest. I'm sure this can be perceived as harsh or brash sometimes, but I also only do so when I know the person can take it and are asking for my honest opinion. And I try to do so in a loving way. And it takes a lot to really infuriate me past a rant, but when I do, those rare moments have can become ugly. No, but really, I'm sweet for the most part. Seriously! I'm thoughtful, concerned, loving and a great friend. I can give you references if you don’t believe me. But here I sit realizing I've been a big, fucking butthole about something in particular. North Carolina.
I know I already had my "be grateful" moment during a recent packing session, but I have to touch upon something further that struck me like lightning the last few days, particularly tonight. Yes, High Point is not my cup of tea, but there are good places here in this state. There are good people. I see now that there are other adventures in this state that could have possibly worked for me. And I all of a sudden feel like I missed a year and a half of happiness because of my actions and attitude.
High Point is not great for me, but I've had fun in other places. I've looked into moving to Charlotte, which could have worked. And I briefly looked into Asheville, which I loved, but they didn't pan out due to a lack of perseverance after seeking it out for a bit. Then this last weekend I went out on a date with a guy I'd met on the film set last April. He lives in Chapel Hill and took me out Friday night, and I had the best time! Chapel Hill is an awesome town, and I could totally see myself living there after only one night. It's definitely up my alley in so many ways! The people I was introduced to seemed cool, the food was good, the places were dark and had edge and depth to them, and the music...ahhhh the music. I found myself shouting, "Oh my god! It's Band of Horses...Spoon..." etc. I had long conversations about really great music and books and life. I felt at home there. It was a wonderful night, and as I drove home the next day, I felt like a fool that I'd judged this entire state off my experience in a few places that I knew prior to moving here, were not for me.
This regret has been hanging over me like that cloud that rained over the Flinstones' Adams Family-like neighbors wherever they went. Then tonight I had the most amazing experience that touched my heart and really made me feel like a big piece of shit.
I'm selling all my furniture for my move. I posted it on Sunday on Craigs List and was overwhelmed by the responses. I now sit here in a near-empty apartment minus two pieces of furniture that are being picked up tomorrow. So this couple came to check out my couch and loveseat. They decided to buy it, but had to get a truck to do so tomorrow. They paid for it and left. A while later the guy called asking if I had cats because his wife was sneezing and is totally allergic? I said I indeed I did, and we were talking about how often they'd been on the couches and such. Then he asked if they were already in Seattle because they hadn't seen them? I started to choke up and said they were here and I’d had been trying to find them a home for a month and a half, as I was going to have to take them to a shelter by the end of the week. He starts telling his wife this, and they're all sad and said they're going to try to help me! She's going to ask around at work and might know someone who could foster them. He tells me how if his wife weren't allergic, he'd have a cat and how growing up, his family always took in strays. "We're animal lovers, and don't want to see this happen to them, so we'll help if we can." I start to cry and thank them profusely.
I'm sorry, but I am blown away by the kindness of strangers sometimes. And for someone who has been so judgmental of this town, I have to eat crow on this one. In addition to my one amazing friend I had upon coming here, and the two other great ones I met in the last year, the last few months I have met more and more really great, kind, warm people. Maybe they were there all along and I've simply let down my defenses a bit? I'm not sure, but all I know is that I realize that sometimes circumstances and situations prohibit the reality of a situation from being clear. One's perspective can be clouded from simply witnessing certain...okay many...events. However, I am proven time and time again that shifting that perspective even slightly, raises the blinds and lets some sun in. This town is definitely not my thing, but it doesn't make it bad. I'm beyond touched by what these strangers are doing for me. And through this simple act, I all of a sudden find myself sitting here recalling little pieces of kindness and selfless acts I've witnessed here. It makes me sad that I've just let the negative stand out and tromp all over the beauty of the little things.
And so with that, I apologize dear High Point and it's neighbors. We're definitely not two puzzle pieces that fit together, but we both contribute to the bigger, greater picture. And North Carolina....maybe you're not so bad after all.
Most of the time, I am far from a butthole. I consider myself very kindhearted and sensitive, but I am also blunt and honest. I'm sure this can be perceived as harsh or brash sometimes, but I also only do so when I know the person can take it and are asking for my honest opinion. And I try to do so in a loving way. And it takes a lot to really infuriate me past a rant, but when I do, those rare moments have can become ugly. No, but really, I'm sweet for the most part. Seriously! I'm thoughtful, concerned, loving and a great friend. I can give you references if you don’t believe me. But here I sit realizing I've been a big, fucking butthole about something in particular. North Carolina.
I know I already had my "be grateful" moment during a recent packing session, but I have to touch upon something further that struck me like lightning the last few days, particularly tonight. Yes, High Point is not my cup of tea, but there are good places here in this state. There are good people. I see now that there are other adventures in this state that could have possibly worked for me. And I all of a sudden feel like I missed a year and a half of happiness because of my actions and attitude.
High Point is not great for me, but I've had fun in other places. I've looked into moving to Charlotte, which could have worked. And I briefly looked into Asheville, which I loved, but they didn't pan out due to a lack of perseverance after seeking it out for a bit. Then this last weekend I went out on a date with a guy I'd met on the film set last April. He lives in Chapel Hill and took me out Friday night, and I had the best time! Chapel Hill is an awesome town, and I could totally see myself living there after only one night. It's definitely up my alley in so many ways! The people I was introduced to seemed cool, the food was good, the places were dark and had edge and depth to them, and the music...ahhhh the music. I found myself shouting, "Oh my god! It's Band of Horses...Spoon..." etc. I had long conversations about really great music and books and life. I felt at home there. It was a wonderful night, and as I drove home the next day, I felt like a fool that I'd judged this entire state off my experience in a few places that I knew prior to moving here, were not for me.
This regret has been hanging over me like that cloud that rained over the Flinstones' Adams Family-like neighbors wherever they went. Then tonight I had the most amazing experience that touched my heart and really made me feel like a big piece of shit.
I'm selling all my furniture for my move. I posted it on Sunday on Craigs List and was overwhelmed by the responses. I now sit here in a near-empty apartment minus two pieces of furniture that are being picked up tomorrow. So this couple came to check out my couch and loveseat. They decided to buy it, but had to get a truck to do so tomorrow. They paid for it and left. A while later the guy called asking if I had cats because his wife was sneezing and is totally allergic? I said I indeed I did, and we were talking about how often they'd been on the couches and such. Then he asked if they were already in Seattle because they hadn't seen them? I started to choke up and said they were here and I’d had been trying to find them a home for a month and a half, as I was going to have to take them to a shelter by the end of the week. He starts telling his wife this, and they're all sad and said they're going to try to help me! She's going to ask around at work and might know someone who could foster them. He tells me how if his wife weren't allergic, he'd have a cat and how growing up, his family always took in strays. "We're animal lovers, and don't want to see this happen to them, so we'll help if we can." I start to cry and thank them profusely.
I'm sorry, but I am blown away by the kindness of strangers sometimes. And for someone who has been so judgmental of this town, I have to eat crow on this one. In addition to my one amazing friend I had upon coming here, and the two other great ones I met in the last year, the last few months I have met more and more really great, kind, warm people. Maybe they were there all along and I've simply let down my defenses a bit? I'm not sure, but all I know is that I realize that sometimes circumstances and situations prohibit the reality of a situation from being clear. One's perspective can be clouded from simply witnessing certain...okay many...events. However, I am proven time and time again that shifting that perspective even slightly, raises the blinds and lets some sun in. This town is definitely not my thing, but it doesn't make it bad. I'm beyond touched by what these strangers are doing for me. And through this simple act, I all of a sudden find myself sitting here recalling little pieces of kindness and selfless acts I've witnessed here. It makes me sad that I've just let the negative stand out and tromp all over the beauty of the little things.
And so with that, I apologize dear High Point and it's neighbors. We're definitely not two puzzle pieces that fit together, but we both contribute to the bigger, greater picture. And North Carolina....maybe you're not so bad after all.
