The Heather Chronicles

Entries from Wednesday, April 22. 2009

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HE RUINED MY INVISIBLE BABY'S NAME!

April 22. 2009 at 12:44
Posted by Heather Duffin in The Chronicles
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I had to share the following conversation had this weekend with Pete about The Hills, which he makes fun of me for watching. He has never seen the program...I watch it on the computer.

Conversation starts with him telling me the names of all his Dad's brothers and sisters (he was the oldest of 10).

Me: That's odd. His name is very Irish (they're Irish Catholic) and the others aren't at all.

Pete: I think they're more Biblical...it's the Catholic in them.

Me: I'm just surprised, as when Irish families start with Irish names, they usually keep going. Like Liam or Spencer or Mary and Katherine. And a lot of those are both Irish and Catholic.

Pete: Yeah, that's true.

Me: Spencer...you know, did I ever tell you that if I had a son, I wanted to name him Spencer? That's my Mom's maiden name. I loved it and wanted that name so bad, but of course I likely won't have kids and then there's THAT Spencer...

Pete: What Spencer?

Me: Spencer from "The Hills"! HE RUINED MY NAME! He ruined my unborn/unfertilized baby boy's name! Stupid asshole.

Pete: Are you serious?

Me: YES! I mean, I know it doesn't really matter because like I said, this is something about nothing, but still...I want that option to be able to name a boy Spencer in case a miracle happens. And then they have to have that jerk on The Hills and he's Satan, Pete! SATAN! Why would I want to name my invisible baby after Satan? I hate him!

Pete: (Laughing) Oh my god, you're really upset! Your going to blog about this aren't you? I can just see it, 'Stupid fuck shit fucker Spencer. He stole my invisble baby boy's name! Stupid jerk faced asshole ruining my imaginary baby's name! (I start laughing) And THEN there's Heidi. Stupid bitch girlfriend Heidi. She has ruined the way I look at my sister. I can't even stand to think about her...'

Me: Wait. Wait. Wait. How do you know his girlfriend's name is Heidi?

Pete: (Silence)

Me: Do you...do you watch The Hills?

Pete: No!

Me: Seriously, you do, don't you? You pretend you're watching skateboard videos online, but you're really watching The Hills, aren't you?

Pete: No, I've never seen it. But I mean, you open any gossip sites and they're always on there!

Me: You read gossip sites? You who teases me about my addiction to People magazine?

Pete: Well, no. I mean, it's Yahoo Entertainment, alright. I read it sometimes!

Silence for a minute.

Me: You totally watch The Hills.

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