HEATHER'S PRISON DIARY - DAYS 1 & 2
June 23. 2007
at 15:53
Posted by Heather Duffin in The Chronicles
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Posted by Heather Duffin in The Chronicles
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View as PDF: This entry | This month | Full blog
I am on Day 3 of my pneumonia prison. I can't take it much more! Cabin fever has taken over, and it doesn't help I'm high on this stupid medicine I have to take. Do you know what it's like to be high trapped alone in your apartment with two cats and a baby crying next door? It's hell! I'd jump off my balcony, but I don't think it's high enough to kill me. Plus the medicine has made me constipated, and I can't stand the thought of dying with full bowels. I hear they release at the end. I'd rather jump after a burly poo so I will leave little mess.
I've been emailing some friends in this medicated state and Eylin encouraged me to write after she was cracking up at my emails, which to be honest, I can't quite remember what I wrote. So I figure, why not document this debacle? Buckle up folks, it's a warped ride through my mind on this stuff.
I've been emailing some friends in this medicated state and Eylin encouraged me to write after she was cracking up at my emails, which to be honest, I can't quite remember what I wrote. So I figure, why not document this debacle? Buckle up folks, it's a warped ride through my mind on this stuff.
DAY 1 - Thursday
I wake up and the pain in my upper chest has gotten really bad. It's the 4th day of pain. Every time I inhale it hurts my throat as well. I thought quitting smoking last Sunday would cure this. I think it just allowed me to feel what was really going on. I go to work and call the doctor and get in an hour later. An exam, chest x-ray, and blood work later, I'm told I have pneumonia. They caught it early, but I have to get to bed and rest and stop smoking! I tell her I have, and she tells me I better stay quit and proceeds to terrify me with what she saw on the x-ray. Okay, I will never smoke again. If you catch me, beat me senseless. She hands me a note excusing me from work the rest of the week and shoos me off.
I go back to work and finish up some stuff then head to the pharmacy for my medicine and a new box of nicotine lozenges. I then head to the grocery store to get soup and pudding for my throat. Realizing I'll be trapped for a while, I rent two more movies to add to the two I have from NetFlix at home. Once I'm home I take my two prescriptions. Twenty minutes later I'm high. Oh shit. I lie down and watch movie #1, "Little Children". It's a great movie. Disturbing, but really, really good.
I am now really, really high. I email back and forth with some people and can't spell, yet alone see straight. I'm too high. I'm stuck in my chair though because I can't feel my toes. I send out a My Space bulletin about yelling at my toes. Must lie down again. I watch TV for a bit and the phone rings. I'm excited to talk to someone! It's Tony. I have no clue what we talked about. I was mumbling and telling him how high I was and he was laughing and trying to tell me something, but I'm not remembering any of the conversation. We hang up and I'm bored once again.
What to do? What to do? I can't stand lying here. Exercise! I shall exercise! But through the haze of my meds, I remember I'm supposed to rest. The battle over moving or impersonating a slug ensues in my head and the compromise is to do moves on the exercise ball. It sounded like it wouldn't be too much. So I get out the exercise ball and start to do situps. Crunch. Crunch. I feel the ball moving, or is that me? BAM! I roll off and land on my side. Shit! So situps aren't working for me right now, I decide to do leg lifts and side crunches. I lay the side of my torso on the ball and start. My balance still sucks this way though, and I slide off the front of the ball. Shit! I decide I'll just do one more move. One that will surely be safe. I lay on the floor on my back and hold the ball between my ankles. Lifting my legs from the floor, the ball shoots out from my ankles and flies towards the loveseat where my cat, Tarot is sleeping. His cat radar is working though, and he wakes up in time to see the ball come at him and runs. This ball is dangerous! Or maybe it's me on the meds that is dangerous? Not to mention it's hurting more when I breathe. I crawl to my bed and lay down. Turning on the T.V. I pray for sleep so that I can be one day closer to the end of feeling whacked out. I fall asleep at 10.
DAY 2 - Friday
I wake up at 6:43 sober. Oh thank god. I take a deep breath and the pain shoots up my chest and into my neck. Damn it! I need some time before I take my pills and am high for the day. I stumble into the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast. I take my vitamins and a nicotine lozenge and start coughing up crap. Ugh. Needing more sober time, I eat then lie down and rest refusing to take my pills for a while longer. Around 9:30 I take my medicine again. I am high by 10.
I hate daytime T.V. with a passion. Instead I spend most of the day emailing with my friends. I have no idea if I made sense today. It's now early afternoon and my mind is doing weird things. I feel this overwhelming desire to dust and vacuum. Convinced the dust and cat hair are going to make me sicker, I dust everything and vacuum the apartment. I am now full-on hacking and in pain. Realizing this was a stupid move, I turn on the air filter, grab my second movie "Gray Matters" and lay down on the couch. The movie is kinda lame. Heather Graham is the sister of Tom Cavanaugh and both fall in love with the same girl. Thing is, Heather Graham doesn't realize she is gay. So the whole movie is her dealing with her gayness.
My high mind wanders off....
What if I'm gay? No, you're not gay. You put your foot in the pool once. Not gay. You like penises! That's right, I DO like penises. I just haven't seen one in a while, no wonder I was questioning if I'm gay. What if I'm not gay or straight? What if I've become asexual...like Morrisey? He supposedly never had sex again after his girlfriend died. I go and look up asexual on Wikipedia. It says "Asexuality is a general term or self-designation for people who do not exhibit sexual attraction, or who otherwise find sexual behavior unappealing." Well, I certainly don't find it unappealing, but I don't seem to exhibit sexual attraction. Hmmmm. Maybe I'm half-sexual? No, dumbass! You just haven't met anyone you're into here. You used to be a total slut! You still have it in you for the right person! Huh. I wish I could have an afro for a day, that would be awesome! I feel like drawing on my arm. You realize if you get off the couch, you may not find your way back right now. Stay here. Be safe, Heather. Be safe.
Uhhhhhhh. I shake my head. Stupid meds.
(Stay tuned for Days 3 & 4)
I wake up and the pain in my upper chest has gotten really bad. It's the 4th day of pain. Every time I inhale it hurts my throat as well. I thought quitting smoking last Sunday would cure this. I think it just allowed me to feel what was really going on. I go to work and call the doctor and get in an hour later. An exam, chest x-ray, and blood work later, I'm told I have pneumonia. They caught it early, but I have to get to bed and rest and stop smoking! I tell her I have, and she tells me I better stay quit and proceeds to terrify me with what she saw on the x-ray. Okay, I will never smoke again. If you catch me, beat me senseless. She hands me a note excusing me from work the rest of the week and shoos me off.
I go back to work and finish up some stuff then head to the pharmacy for my medicine and a new box of nicotine lozenges. I then head to the grocery store to get soup and pudding for my throat. Realizing I'll be trapped for a while, I rent two more movies to add to the two I have from NetFlix at home. Once I'm home I take my two prescriptions. Twenty minutes later I'm high. Oh shit. I lie down and watch movie #1, "Little Children". It's a great movie. Disturbing, but really, really good.
I am now really, really high. I email back and forth with some people and can't spell, yet alone see straight. I'm too high. I'm stuck in my chair though because I can't feel my toes. I send out a My Space bulletin about yelling at my toes. Must lie down again. I watch TV for a bit and the phone rings. I'm excited to talk to someone! It's Tony. I have no clue what we talked about. I was mumbling and telling him how high I was and he was laughing and trying to tell me something, but I'm not remembering any of the conversation. We hang up and I'm bored once again.
What to do? What to do? I can't stand lying here. Exercise! I shall exercise! But through the haze of my meds, I remember I'm supposed to rest. The battle over moving or impersonating a slug ensues in my head and the compromise is to do moves on the exercise ball. It sounded like it wouldn't be too much. So I get out the exercise ball and start to do situps. Crunch. Crunch. I feel the ball moving, or is that me? BAM! I roll off and land on my side. Shit! So situps aren't working for me right now, I decide to do leg lifts and side crunches. I lay the side of my torso on the ball and start. My balance still sucks this way though, and I slide off the front of the ball. Shit! I decide I'll just do one more move. One that will surely be safe. I lay on the floor on my back and hold the ball between my ankles. Lifting my legs from the floor, the ball shoots out from my ankles and flies towards the loveseat where my cat, Tarot is sleeping. His cat radar is working though, and he wakes up in time to see the ball come at him and runs. This ball is dangerous! Or maybe it's me on the meds that is dangerous? Not to mention it's hurting more when I breathe. I crawl to my bed and lay down. Turning on the T.V. I pray for sleep so that I can be one day closer to the end of feeling whacked out. I fall asleep at 10.
DAY 2 - Friday
I wake up at 6:43 sober. Oh thank god. I take a deep breath and the pain shoots up my chest and into my neck. Damn it! I need some time before I take my pills and am high for the day. I stumble into the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast. I take my vitamins and a nicotine lozenge and start coughing up crap. Ugh. Needing more sober time, I eat then lie down and rest refusing to take my pills for a while longer. Around 9:30 I take my medicine again. I am high by 10.
I hate daytime T.V. with a passion. Instead I spend most of the day emailing with my friends. I have no idea if I made sense today. It's now early afternoon and my mind is doing weird things. I feel this overwhelming desire to dust and vacuum. Convinced the dust and cat hair are going to make me sicker, I dust everything and vacuum the apartment. I am now full-on hacking and in pain. Realizing this was a stupid move, I turn on the air filter, grab my second movie "Gray Matters" and lay down on the couch. The movie is kinda lame. Heather Graham is the sister of Tom Cavanaugh and both fall in love with the same girl. Thing is, Heather Graham doesn't realize she is gay. So the whole movie is her dealing with her gayness.
My high mind wanders off....
What if I'm gay? No, you're not gay. You put your foot in the pool once. Not gay. You like penises! That's right, I DO like penises. I just haven't seen one in a while, no wonder I was questioning if I'm gay. What if I'm not gay or straight? What if I've become asexual...like Morrisey? He supposedly never had sex again after his girlfriend died. I go and look up asexual on Wikipedia. It says "Asexuality is a general term or self-designation for people who do not exhibit sexual attraction, or who otherwise find sexual behavior unappealing." Well, I certainly don't find it unappealing, but I don't seem to exhibit sexual attraction. Hmmmm. Maybe I'm half-sexual? No, dumbass! You just haven't met anyone you're into here. You used to be a total slut! You still have it in you for the right person! Huh. I wish I could have an afro for a day, that would be awesome! I feel like drawing on my arm. You realize if you get off the couch, you may not find your way back right now. Stay here. Be safe, Heather. Be safe.
Uhhhhhhh. I shake my head. Stupid meds.
(Stay tuned for Days 3 & 4)
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