It's funny how when I start to miss being in a relationship, something always seems to happen to quickly remind me of why I don't put myself out there anymore.
I got home this evening after finally breaking free of my prison (I waited to take my meds until I got to my friend's) and feeling sane for the first time in days. I had new music, hung with my good friend and his daughter, was no longer in pain, and rode a carousel. How is that not a good day? I pop in one of my new CDs. The song drifts on and I am falling in love with the music. Certain music touches me so powerfully that the listening becomes a lifetimes in itself...creation, love, loss, hope. I lay on the bed and sing along, smiling. Renewed hope for just plain ol' goodness consumes me. And then I checked my emails.
I have a couple new messages on My Space and open the one from my friend. The second one is from a stranger, but it doesn't look like spam. I open it and it reads as follows:
you are absolutely gorgeousssssss and seem like a very cool person...I just wanted to say hello....I hope you have a wonderful afternoon...take care and write back soon or I will have to give you a spanking :)
A spanking? You're going to SPANK me if I don't write back soon? Who the fuck IS this person? I go to his profile to witness this bad accident. He's a year older than me, though he looks ten years older, and lives in a neighboring town. He talks about being into sailing and water sports and so on. Then I notice under "Who I'd like to meet" he has video of some guy giving a single spank to this girl in a kitchen. What??? I then notice his "Groups" list many, many spanking groups including Spank-a-palooza. Well, my they've created a "a-palooza" for everything nowadays, haven't they? I note to myself that I really must start a Fart-A-Palooza, though think how no one will attend because of the odor.
I'm laughing my ass off at this point and then see that under "Movies" he has written, i enjoy mostly action action-adventure movies...i am a guy...however i do like movies that touch my heart..and i'm not ashamed to cry if emotions get uncontrollable. This is completely ridiculous and hysterical to me. Touch your heart? You mean your ass, don't you? I then go into his pictures. All seem normal until the one - there in blue and white lycra is a picture of his ass. Okay, that's it. I'm officially disturbed.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm far from a prude. I can get my kink on with the rest of them. Spanking can be just fine, but I am NOT down with some stranger emailing me saying he's going to "spank me" if I don't email him back! That is just too much to me. I'm almost offended, and it takes a lot to offend me. And yes Isaac, I know you have gone up to women and said similar things yourself, but remember that you've been slapped for it too.
North Carolina is starting to creep me out with its men. Since moving here I get emails on My Space from local guys in their early 20's wanting to have sex. I don't get this? Does no one believe in letting fate take it's course? Does anyone wait to screw until they know someone? Maybe I am a prude now? Maybe I'm too old? Or maybe I just know I'm destined for more than the crap I used to give myself? So I will continue to delete creepy, random emails from the local boys. However, I have to email this guy back. I just can't take it. I write the following:
Len -
Thank you for the compliment. Please know that this will be the only email from me. You see, your warning of a spanking if I didn't email back, didn't fare well with me. I know you would have no way of knowing this, but I lost my precious family dog to a spanking incident when I was 10. He was a teacup poodle, very tiny bugger. I was in trouble for hitting my sister and was to be spanked as punishment. As my mother brought her hand down onto my rear, my little dog jumped onto my behind just in time for my mother to crush him. He DIED on my butt! DIED from a spanking! This ruined both my mother and myself for the rest of our lives. Every time someone even mentions a spanking, all I can see is little, blonde poodle curls flying through the air, in my head. Sometimes late at night I can still hear him squeal in pain. Sniffle.
I'm sorry. I know you couldn't know. It just...hurts. Good luck to you and your spanking thing...I pray no dogs ever get in your way.
-Heather
And yes Mom, I know I always have to get the last word in.
