THE REAL SURREAL LIFE: HIGH POINT - THE PARTY

SUNDAY, DAY 1 - EVENING

Kenny has left for the evening and has encouraged the Island Crew to drink and get used to their new abode. The Professor opens up the pantry, which is filled half with food and half with booze.

Gilligan: Gee Professor, what's there to drink?

Professor: Well Gilligan, nothing that is good for your liver. This is definitely not going to be the pure living we were used to on the island.

Skipper: (Budging through) Let me in there! (Explores the pantry) We've got Southern Comfort and Jack Daniels. (Opens the fridge) And in the fridge we have Coors Light! Oh boy!!!

Lovey: Thurston! There's a MAN in the pantry?

Thurston: (Chuckling) No Lovey. Jack Daniels is whiskey. So is Southern Comfort.

Lovey: But I don’t' drink Whiskey.

Skipper: (Leaning deeper into the pantry) Well you will tonight! Heh-heh-hehhh.

The Skipper grabs some beer out of the fridge and hands them out. Ginger finds shot glasses and starts to pour everyone shots of Southern Comfort. She has also found a lime, which she squeezes into each shot.

Ginger: So Co...and lime! Oooooooo! (Motions towards the shots lined up on the counter, as if it were a prize on the Price Is Right.)

Mary Ann: I don't know. I've only had one beer in my life. I've never even been drunk.

Gilligan: It's brown like the caves on the island! Anything brown sounds good to me!

Skipper: (Grumbling) Well then you'll LOVE the Confessional Room!

Ginger hands out the shots to add to their beer. Soon the entire group is double-fisting their drinks.

Skipper: To High Point!!!

All: (In unison) To High Point!!!

Shots are downed and beer is chugged immediately after. Lovey's eyes are wide and she looks confused.

Lovey: Thurston! That was repulsive, but I feel strangely warm in my belly.

Thurston: (Giggling) Oh my dearest Lovey. I like warm bellies.

Gilligan: That reminds me of the time that the Harlem Globe Trotters came to the island and Curly snuck into my room one night and....

Skipper: (Taking off his cap and smacking Giligan) GILLIGAN!

Gilligan: What?

The Skipper shakes his head. Ginger gets up to pour more shots. The night wanes on and the Island Crew are getting quite drunk. Mary Ann has scoured through the cabinets to find some music for the portable CD player on the kitchen table. Leonard Skynnard is now playing in the background as Thurston plays with Lovey's hair. Lovey has opened up her parasol, which she is waving to the music. Ginger is slow dancing with the Skipper despite the upbeat music. Mary Ann is flirting with the Professor who is staring at her short shorts. Gilligan is drunk and staring off into space. "Sweet Home Alabama" comes on.

Mary Ann: Woooooooo. I love this song. (Jumps up and starts dancing.)

The Skipper breaks free of Ginger's dance embrace.

Skipper: Hey Little Buddy! (Shakes Gilligan in his drunken stare down with the blinds.) Come on! Let's dance!!!

The Skipper jumps onto the seats surrounding the Kitchen table, singing and dancing along to the music. He then jumps onto the Kitchen table and starts grinding the air.

Skipper: Look at me! I'm Paris Hilton!

All start applauding. All of a sudden the table makes a loud groan and collapses. The Skipper flies off and lands on Ginger's feet.

Ginger: Ohhhhhhhh. That felt good. Let me help you up, Skippy.

Skipper: (Looking longingly at Ginger while blushing) Thanks Ginger.

Professor: (Hopping up!) You know what we should do! We should build a telescope! I bet the stars are so bright in the country skies! What can we use? (Starts rummaging through drawers.) I know! (Runs into the bathroom/Confessional Room and reappears a moment later). A toilet paper tube! This will be the BEST telescope ever!

The Professor runs outside, followed by the rest of the group. He holds the toilet paper tube up to his eye, looks straight ahead and stumbles.

Professor: Wowwwww! The moon is so bright!

Thurston: Egads! That's not the moon. That's the floodlight from the neighbor's trailer through the woods. Look UP you fool!

Professor: (Leaning back) Wow! I can see Orion’s belt like it was hovering over my face. Now he's taking off his belt....

Mary Ann: Professor! Maybe you should look at Cassiopeia instead!

The music seeps through the trailer into the darkness of the woods. The group is laughing and dancing and kicking up dead leaves.

Mary Ann: If I leeeeeaave here tomorrowwwwww........

Ginger: Will....you....still....remember me?

The two stop and look at each other. The others notice their locked look and stop what they're doing. The two women walk closer and closer and closer to each other. They wrap their arms around each other and...

Ginger: I...will...always....remember...you....Oooooooo. (Ginger leans in for the kiss.)

Mary Ann: Blurrrrrrrrpppppppppppppppppppppbrarrrrrrrrrrr.

Ginger: (Dropping her arms and laughing) Heeeeee-heeeeeee. That....was disgusting!

Mary Ann laughs. Lovey is making a weird face now.

Lovey: Thurston! My teeth feel dirty! I think it's the woods. I'm going to go find that electric toothbrush.

Thurston: There you go Lovey! Brush them good!

Lovey disappears into the trailer to brush her teeth. The entire group, with the exception of Gilligan who is still drunkenly staring off into the woods, sits in the dirt and chats and laughs. All of sudden a high-pitched squeal emanates from the trailer.

Thurston: (Looking concerned and running for the trailer) Lovey!!!!!

Gilligan: (Blinking finally) Golly, I hope she's okay.

A moment later Lovey and Thurston emerge from the trailer. Lovey is looking quite relaxed and a bit flushed.

Thurston: I think that toothbrush may have injured my dear Lovey! (Kisses her hand).

Lovey: (Looking dreamily straight ahead) No my dahling, it worked pleasantly. Pleasantly....

Mary Ann: You know what I've never told any of you? When I came back from the island, I was out at a homecoming party one night and this camera crew showed up at the barn. They promised us fame and asked us to do certain things.

Skipper: Like what?

Mary Ann jumps up from her sitting position and lifts up her gingham shirt, exposing her breasts. Everyone gasps, and the Professor smiles the biggest smile.

Mary Ann: (Pulling down her shirt) Yeah, they told us we would be movie stars if we did so! Now I'm like you, Ginger!

Ginger smirks. Lovey stumbles forward, still flushed.

Lovey: Oh my! I'd like to try that too!

Lovey lifts up her shirt. A thud is heard. Looks of horror spread through the crowd.

Mary Ann: (Crying, running towards the trailer) I don't want to get old!

Gilligan turns his head to see Lovey flashing her breasts and vomits.

Professor: Okay! I think that wraps up tonight! I'll see everyone in the morning for the first challenge!


Join us tomorrow for Day 2: The Challenges Begin!