You often hear people talk about certain moments in their life where they felt that it was just themself and another, and the rest of the world stood still. I've had this moment before, and as with most people, it's usually in some smooshy lovey-dovey moment. However, after today I realize it can happen when you're just way too intrigued with something. I really need to pay more attention. What am I talking about? It started today when I was at Target at lunch....
My whole purpose of going to Target was to buy cat food and Christmas Cards. I grab both items and start to head to the front of the store. On my way I had to walk by the toy section. That was where I met Buttercup. Buttercup is a 3-foot tall animatronic pony, or so it said. It was standing in plastic grass behind a mock fence. I was intrigued. I look around and saw that no one was around. I pet Buttercup. Nothing. I pet Buttercup again. Still no movement.
I look down at the sign. I respond to sound!
"Are you dead, pony?"
Nothing.
Okay, this is ridiculous. You can't put an animatronic pony on display and it doesn't work! I grab its head and turn it to me. I let go and its head flies back to its original position. Shit! Come on Buttercup, work with me! I look down at the sign again. Brush my mane and I move! I look on the fence and see a brush. I take the brush and start to brush Buttercup's mane. Still no movement. I brush harder. Nothing. Harder! Nothing. I am now brushing the mane so hard that Buttercup is kind of wobbling.
I sigh and put the brush back. Fucking Buttercup. I pet the pony again and it's still not moving. I'm getting pissed now. Something's got to make it move! I push its side and it remains motionless. I push its neck. Nothing. Then I smacked its ass.
"Come on Buttercup!"
I smack it again. And again. Nothing!!! Then I hear it.
"I told you Mommy! I told you!"
I look up and see a mother pushing her 6-year old daughter in a cart. The girl is pointing at me and I realize she has busted me smacking Buttercup's ass. I just stand there looking guilty. The mother gives me an odd look and turns the corner.
"The sensors!" shouts the girl as she disappears. "You have to pet the sensors!"
I look down at the sign, which I see continues around the other side of the fence. Sure enough! There are four sensors and all are specifically shown on the diagram. I pet the first sensor and Buttercup comes to life! I'm so excited!!!
I follow the diagram and pet all the sensors. Buttercup is moving about, turning its head at me, shifting its stance.... I clap my hands with glee! I pick up the brush and start brushing her mane again. I then hear laughter. I turn around and see that other customers are watching me, and one woman has burst out laughing. I all of a sudden realize what I must look like. I start laughing too.
"Times sure have changed since I was a kid," I say and the woman keeps laughing and shakes her head. I put the brush back on the fence, lower my head and leave my pony in the dust.
I'm going to see Santa this week. I think I know what I'm asking for.
