I don't know if it's the music playing or the events, but I just have to say that I am having one of those moments where I feel so content and loved. I won't go into it all, but there was drama. BIG drama. And I stuck myself in the middle of it. How I do this from 3,000 miles away I'm not sure, but what started out as one situation turned into another situation. It grew like bunnies on Spanish Fly. I've spent the majority of yesterday on one situation via email and another situation on the phone tonight. And while I cried on one, and passionately stated my stance on another tonight, a certain tingling of fear was injected into my soul. Is this going to change friendships? Will these people understand? I cringed at the thought that it might not go where I anticipated.
And then I woke up this morning and one situation eased itself, only for the next situation to explode like a plume of smoke. And then that plume of smoke was too extinguished. And what came of it all? Love. It's all about the love I realize. Those who know me well know that while I am a very kind, supportive person. On the other hand I am also forthright and will call you on your shit in a matter of seconds. I expect the same of my friends. If I fuck up, I want them to call me on it. And I do so with risk. Will this person understand? Will they see it comes from a place of love and concern? And they do. What starts with fear and a huge batch of courage to admit mine and other's wrongs, ends up with a renewed sense of friendship and a confirmation of absolute love. I feel like I'm still human and I know I mess up, but I see the growth. Oh god do I see the growth.
I don't know how I'm so lucky, but I am. I can't imagine my life without those who are in it, and I feel like the luckiest person in the world at the moment. I love that no matter how much time passes, I'm continually blown away by my relationships and the amount of love and understanding that exists within them.
It's something that draws me back home. I want that all encompassing love around me at all times, yet I also know there are new adventures for me that can bring more of that unconditional love and friendship with it. I was going to go back to it, but have decided to venture forth. Am I crazy? Maybe, but I also have this overwhelming inkling that it's just going to carry into a new place. A new adventure. New lives. And I feel like the richest person in the world. Nobody's gong to steal me gold.
