THINGS YOU'LL NEVER SEE ON A SEMI-DESERTED ISLAND

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have an EXTREME obsession with the TV show, Lost. Okay, so it's not quite an "obsession". I think of an obsessed person kind of like the three guys on X-Files who help out Mulder in situations because they're all about the UFO-ness. Okay, so I just revealed more of my geekness. Yes, I also had an addiction to X-Files and almost creamed myself when I recently read they are doing a sequal movie with David Duchovony and Gilian Anderson.

So as you fellow Losties know, the season premiere is on January 31st. I can't tell you the joy this brings me. I'd blame it on life living in North Carolina amongst domestic fights, roosters shitting in my office driveway, and finding entrails on the stairs to the garbage, alas I was like this before I moved here. The last guy I dated, Geno, got me hooked on this show. He had a TV addiction and we'd just lay in bed, watch his shows and have sex afterwards. Pretty sad, but he gave me Lost at least.

I keep backtracking. What I'm trying to say is that in anticipation of the season premier of Lost, I've spent the evening re-watching the season finale and all the Missing Pieces posted on ABC. I don't know if this makes me pathetic, or just really intrigued, but I feel slightly horny after watching all this. Am I THAT excited? Possibly. Or maybe it's that I'm escaping North Carolina tomorrow? Or maybe it's watching a shirltess Sawyer? Either way, I'm feeling oddly aroused, which I think is anticipation for my brain stew, Lost.

I do have to say though that I am deeply disturbed by three things that I've noticed have never been addressed throughout the seasons.

1) What do the chicks do for their periods? Do they shove t-shirts in their pants and then leave them in the latrine after they're done? Did they find a boatload of tampons on the plane wreckage? Does the strange powers of island make their periods stop? What??? This has bothered me to no end since halfway through Season 1.

2) Why does no one have roots? Clearly at least ONE person on the island used to dye their hair. I mean, what the hell? Any of you women, and some men, know as well as I do that this is impossible.

3) Aren't there any nearsighted people like myself on the island? Sure there was an episode where Sawyer needed glasses that they welded together, but he never wears them anymore. Big fucking whoop! What about people like me who can't see more than three feet away without their contacts or glasses? On a flight, I'd be wearing my lenses and my glasses would be in my suitcase. Who knows where my glasses would end up, and my contacts wouldn't last long without their solution. I'd be the blind chick on the island. The girl who tries to have her bowel movements in the latrine, but accidentally shits in the food supply because she can't see. I'd surely be the first to be eaten.

I do not get these things! Do we have an island of pretty much perfect people? Honestly, can we all not agree this is kind of wierd? I mean, it's very unlikely that this is what survival of the fittest means. Sure the nearsighted chick would likely walk off a cliff and die, but she must have lived a little while after the crash! Are the writers simply not thinking about these little things? I'm by no means harping on them, as I think they're brilliant with the show, but the little things also count. I know if I crash on a semi-deserted island, the first thing going through my head is going to be, "Oh fuck. I'm totally screwed," as I think about my glasses in my suitcase. And now that I mention this, I think I'll start bringing them in my purse from now on.

Yay for the 31st!