WITHDRAWALS
Forewarning...I have no idea if any of this will make sense, be funny, be witty, whatever. All I know is that I need to vent and feel as if I am losing my mind. So I'm going to avoid all the yimmer yammer and get right to it.
I feel like I am losing my frickin' mind! I quit smoking a week ago and wish someone would just put me out of my misery! You see, I did the lozenges for two days and then went cold turkey...on accident at first, but then decided that most people who permanently quit just make up their minds and do so cold turkey, so I might as well roll with it. Nice beautiful thought. I have been angry, insane and eating a lot of ice cream since then. I have decided that IF I now go out for Halloween, which if I didn't would be the first time I ever bailed because it IS my favorite holiday, I would need to dress up as a Macy's Thanksgiving Day balloon, as I'm looking like one!
Wednesday was the first bad, bad day. Had a nervous breakdown all night and freaked out two friends who made the mistake of calling that night. My voicemail feature changed and I had to re-record my voicemail, which I keep hearing sounds really, really sad, but I can't re-record it because I still feel like I want to cry. The voicemail will stay for now.
The itching also started on Wednesday. I'm talking UNBEARABLE itching! I didn't know what was wrong until April researched it online and found that nicotine constricts your blood vessels, so when the nicotine is gone for the first time in like forever, the blood vessels start opening up and it can create the sense of itching it either one place or all over. It is the most miserable feeling ever. I laid in bed crying, freaking out, itching, scaring people on the phone. It was horrid. I even begged my cat Tarot to come near me so I coud use his sharp talons to claw my arm since most of my fingernails had broken off earlier in the week. I maninpulated my cat for selfish itch relief! Okay that sounds so gross, that you can just forget I said that.
Okay, so I guess there is some new MTV show called Score where "two budding songwriters" sing a song to try to win a mystery date. SO stupid! What's even worse is that it's hosted by Ryan Cabrerra! It truly is Armageddon.
Anyways, so yes I am going insane. However the insanity has led me to cancel all plans and I stayed in all weekend and repainted and redid my room, which I now love, which is good since I think I will never leave it again. I guess SOMETHING good came of it. Last night my dad and I went for a 3-mile walk and my 60-year old father kicked my ass! He was just going along like it's no big deal walking up two big ass hills, and I'm dying and I'm pissed, and I keep muttering how he's twice my age and kicking my butt. I definitely need to be put out of my misery.
Having really weird dreams. A few nights ago I had a dream that my friends pooped in the swimming pool and I wigged and they dove down to clean it up with plastic bags and April threw her bag at me and her turd got stuck on my shirt and I freaked out. Last night I dreamt my ex-boyfriend emailed me saying that now that we're speaking, we need to create some rules for the show I'm going to. I woke up totally confused because it was so simple and real and I was mad that he thought we were speaking. It took me about ten minutes to realize it wasn't real.
I am glad I am chubby, as it will help me stay viriginal. I need to go because my mind is wandering.
Can someone send me to a spa so I can go crazy in peace and only be fed herbs and get colonics to get all the ciggie nasty out of my body?
Wednesday was the first bad, bad day. Had a nervous breakdown all night and freaked out two friends who made the mistake of calling that night. My voicemail feature changed and I had to re-record my voicemail, which I keep hearing sounds really, really sad, but I can't re-record it because I still feel like I want to cry. The voicemail will stay for now.
The itching also started on Wednesday. I'm talking UNBEARABLE itching! I didn't know what was wrong until April researched it online and found that nicotine constricts your blood vessels, so when the nicotine is gone for the first time in like forever, the blood vessels start opening up and it can create the sense of itching it either one place or all over. It is the most miserable feeling ever. I laid in bed crying, freaking out, itching, scaring people on the phone. It was horrid. I even begged my cat Tarot to come near me so I coud use his sharp talons to claw my arm since most of my fingernails had broken off earlier in the week. I maninpulated my cat for selfish itch relief! Okay that sounds so gross, that you can just forget I said that.
Okay, so I guess there is some new MTV show called Score where "two budding songwriters" sing a song to try to win a mystery date. SO stupid! What's even worse is that it's hosted by Ryan Cabrerra! It truly is Armageddon.
Anyways, so yes I am going insane. However the insanity has led me to cancel all plans and I stayed in all weekend and repainted and redid my room, which I now love, which is good since I think I will never leave it again. I guess SOMETHING good came of it. Last night my dad and I went for a 3-mile walk and my 60-year old father kicked my ass! He was just going along like it's no big deal walking up two big ass hills, and I'm dying and I'm pissed, and I keep muttering how he's twice my age and kicking my butt. I definitely need to be put out of my misery.
Having really weird dreams. A few nights ago I had a dream that my friends pooped in the swimming pool and I wigged and they dove down to clean it up with plastic bags and April threw her bag at me and her turd got stuck on my shirt and I freaked out. Last night I dreamt my ex-boyfriend emailed me saying that now that we're speaking, we need to create some rules for the show I'm going to. I woke up totally confused because it was so simple and real and I was mad that he thought we were speaking. It took me about ten minutes to realize it wasn't real.
I am glad I am chubby, as it will help me stay viriginal. I need to go because my mind is wandering.
Can someone send me to a spa so I can go crazy in peace and only be fed herbs and get colonics to get all the ciggie nasty out of my body?
Trackbacks
Trackback specific URI for this entry
No Trackbacks
