It's amazing how life can change in the blink of an eye. One moment life seems to somewhat make sense, and then all of a sudden your world is turned upside down. My morning started out just fine and then within a few hours everything changed. I'm so shocked and scared and pissed at myself, but all I can do is deal with it and move forward. Thing is, I don't want to just "live with it". It's time to make changes. It's time to grab the world by it's wooly testicles and give it a shake and take the lead. I'm done. I'm so fucking done I can't tell you how done I am.
I'm done with sitting in what I'm not content with. I'm done saying someday. I'm done listening to the relentless bullshit of people who can't even take care of their own lives, but choose to hurt others. I'm done wishing for love. I'm done living in gray and rain in the land of scenesters and Eddie Bauer zombies. I'm done dreaming of certain things. It's time to make the changes I know need to be made in all aspsects of my life. It's time to run to something as opposed to running away from something. It's time to know myself enough to know when people are good and when people are just selfish in a negative way. It's time to appreciate the different kinds of love my life is SO full of and let that fulfill me enough until true love finds me once again. It's time to play in the sun and swim in the warm waters. It's time to still daydream, but live the dreams that I can touch.
Funny how much I love New Year's Eve. The renewal of life I always feel with that holiday is so prevalent, yet the really heavy shit often hits my life within the first three months of the year. I guess the universe wants to throw all the dirt at me at the beginning so I have the rest of the year to clean the shit up, learn, grow, and then next year go, "Haha! My broom is ready for you, bitch!"
With all this I introduce you to The Year of Good-Bye. I have decided that I will spend this year taking care of my new situation, and saving money and looking into where I want to go. 2006 will be the year I say good-bye to the old parts of me that need to be laid to rest, and make room for the parts of me that have been clawing their way to the surface for quite some time. It's the year for me to open the door, feel the sun on my face, take the lessons I've learned and the dreams I've had, and step onto that path I've been observing, but have yet to tread. 2007 will then be when everything from this year comes together and the path is tread.
It's time for this new and different life I have to take on, to take a new twist. It's time to board the ride.
Love to all,
Heather McDuffin
The Egg McMuffin.
