What is happening lately? I can’t help but think that everything that has happened in the last month is building up to something terrifying, or possibly amazing. Bad things that are happening at work may end up being a very positive thing for me in certain respects. Not sure, but the door to what I’m looking for might have just creaked open a bit.
So much has changed in my life in the last three weeks and there are certain good things that I am doing to handle the situation, but I also see myself being destructive in other ways. I’m not handling things well internally and need to change that. My health has changed, my body has changed, my job has changed, and I think I’m having a meltdown.
I’m having numerous moments of feeling something huge in progress. I fell asleep watching TV tonight and woke up with my heart pounding and the strangest feeling. This keeps happening to me, particularly this week. Is it the weight of all that has happened? The stress? The unanswered questions? Or am I just in tune to the changes happening in my universe? Can I feel my life changing? Can I feel the wheels churning? Can I feel the doors of possibilities shifting and calling me to pick this or that like the old Choose Your Own Mystery books? Thing is I always cheated and read the options at the end so I’d get the best one. I can’t do that here.
Will whatever all this is leading to be good and the life I want fall into my lap? Or will it be bad and things will once again seem to crumble a bit more? And if it is bad, can I find the strength to walk through it and find the good within what I’ve been presented? I don't get it. There has to be a greater purpose for all this. I survived what happened a year and a half ago, and I can't believe that didn't happen for a reason. I can't believe life came back to have everything stripped once again.
I’m not sure what is happening, I just feel it. I feel the changes with every ounce of my soul and I’m terrified, yet intrigued. Where will the mystery lead me? Not sure, but this time I’m not going to cheat and jump to the end. I’m going to buckle up and prepare for the ride there, hoping I make it in one piece.
Please fasten your seatbelts.
Love to all,
Heather
